.Bucket List.

Well, ummm, the title says it all. :)

• Go skydiving.
• Star in a movie.
• Face my fear and go swimming with some sharks.
• Go to Paris.
• Learn French. (Or some other awesome language.)
• Win an award.
  
• Watch the Superbowl in real life.
• Learn how to break dance.
• Meet Shia Labeouf.
  
• Travel around the world.

This is just some of the things I want to do. I'll probably come back and add some more when I think of them...

.Pickup Lines.

These are some of the funniest pickup lines I've ever seen!!!

Did you fart? Because you blew me away.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
If you were the new burger at McDonald's you would be the Mcgorgeous!
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you got "fine" written all over you.
Do you have a Band aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
You look so sweet your givin' me a toothache.
Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn't your name (take a guess)...Bertha??

.Pokemon.

Pokemon have the weirdest names ever! Snaps to whoever came up with all these crazy names! :)I'll just list the names I think are the strangest.(There are about 500 different Pokemon in all.)

Blastoise


Pidgeotto

Arbok

Clefable

Venonat

Mankey

Poliwag

Tentacool

Geodude

Voltorb

Hitmonlee

Starmie

Magmar

Snorlax

Chikorita

Quilava

Igglybuff

Xatu

Sudowoodo

Raikou

I could probably go on for a lot longer. For one, I looked these up on the internet. But I do know all these names and how to pronounce each. I even know the Pokemon theme song, so if anyone wants to hear it, let me know! ;)

.'Guin Rap.

Penguins are black and mixed with white,
Betta not diss 'em or you're gonna start a fight.
They eat little fish, that swim in the sea,
Not too fierce but ya betta let 'em be.

Break it down now,
P-E-N-G-U-I-N-S
Penguins, ah yes, above all the rest.

Check 'em out at da zoo, watch for poo,
Ya betta not feed 'em or they comin' after you.
They ain't like us, cuz they lay eggs,
And they own those short, stubby legs.

One more time now,
P-E-N-G-U-I-N-S
Penguins, ah yes, they put you to test.

.Unlikely Superheroes.

.:Captain Almost:. Here he comes to the rescue... almost. He almost gets distracted by an ongoing bank robbery which he almost stops. He almost decides to go to the corner of Ninth and Baker where he almost puts out a house fire. Captain Almost almost flew up to the falling airplane and almost saved the day. He is the most helpful superhero ever- almost.

.:Super Scooper:. Super Scooper scoops up after you!
Elderly man, "Aw crap, my dog just crapped!"
Super Scooper, "Don't fear! Super Scooper's here!"
Elderly man, "Phew! I was afraid I'd have to do the job myself. Thank goodness you've arrived!"
Super Scooper, "They poop, I scoop. They feces, I pick up the pieces."

.:Bananaman:. Young lady, "Help! I'm being robbed!!"
Bananaman, "Don't worry... I'm coming... With these bananas I have."
Theif, " Umm, ah I'm scared?!"
Bananaman, "Uh, yeah! You should be scared! Do you have any idea what these bananas can do?"
Thief, " Yeah..... No I don't."
Bananaman, " Hahaha you fool! These were just decoys! The real power I have is getting you distracted while I call a real superhero!"
Thief, " Oh no! Who'd ya call?"
Bananaman, " The one and only, Captain Almost!"

.Little Brothers.

Luke- What a nice bible name. Luke is the kind boy who likes to watch way too much t.v. Usually all his comebacks are quotes from t.v. He really likes to watch wrestling and other sports. Sometimes he talks to himself and he sings to himself. Luke can be really sweet sometimes. He helps me make dinner, takes the dog out, carries heavy stuff for me, and scrapes the ice off the car.

Matthew- Another wonderful bible name. He likes to shoot hoops outside all the time. Matt is starting to learn how to play the drums. He plays them all the time!! Matt used to be the shyest boy in the world. One time he got his name on the board in kindergarten for not saying here. He wouldn't even talk to my grandparents! Like Luke, Matt has his sweet side. Today, he carried my books into the house because I had all my softball stuff.

Together- So, we're all sitting on the couch, watching a movie. The movie is almost over. Luke decides to bug Matt. They start yelling and fighting. Luke pulls a wrestling on Matt. Matt starts screaming like a girly man. I'm still trying to watch the movie but can't here over the obnoxious screaming. I pause the movie to get the boys to stop fighting. Not working!! I use my manipulative blackmail to get Luke to stop fighting. Works every time. :) That's usually how it is with every movie we watch. Except if we haven't seen it before. Then there's no fighting till after the movie is over.

.Milking Cows.

Not very many people get to experience this wonderful thing. Since this is the case, I will gladly tell my own experiences.
I started milking when I was about in 2ND grade. The little kids, Madelyn, me , Luke, and Matthew, would pretty much be out there for company to the older kids. When I started, all I could do was the dipping. I always touched the cows leg before I dipped so the cow knew I was there. Bad Idea. They were used to my dad just going without touching them. I would usually get kicked. It didn't hurt very much, but it scared the crap out of me. When I got a little older, I started wiping. This was not a very easy process. You have to get all the dipping stuff off. I wasn't very good at this. The next thing I learned was how to put the milker on. This was the hardest of all. You had to push the button, hold the milker in one hand, and hurry and put all the sucker things on. It was very hard if you were short because you couldn't reach the far ones. After the milker comes off, you have to dip again. I forgot to mention that sometimes, when the cow kicks you, you drop the dipping stuff and it gets all over your clothes! After all the cows are milked, you have to wash out the barn. This was the only thing I was good at.
My first time milking, I was helping Allyson. While she was dipping the cows, she told me to come look at something. Being stupid little me, I came over. Suddenly milked sprayed my face and got me all sticky and wet. I was pretty mad. She told me it happens to everyone and that I should grow up. Another time Madee and I were washing the barn out. We got mad at each other. I had the hose so I decided it would be a good idea to spray her with it. I was wrong. I dropped the hose and ran for my life. She got me soaking wet while I only got a little of her pants. I had to walk to the house freezing my butt off!
These are only two of the many experiences I have with milking. Writing all of them down would probably take all day.

.Terrible Day.

So, there I was stinky little fourth grader, who wanted a dog real bad. I called my mom and she said " ABSOLUTELY NOT!!" I then called my dad. " Daddy can we please get a puppy?" Dad said yes. :) I went and got my puppy and took her home. For once dad said I could get a girl puppy. A couple days later, Allyson and Madelyn came home from early morning piano lessons. That's when the bad started. "Sadie, when we were going to piano, we accidentally ran over the dog." I was really upset. I went our bar and started crying. I look down and see my best friend glass charm thing, smashed to pieces. I started to cry even harder! "Who broke this?!?" No one would fess up. I sadly went to school. It was recess. Cherisse was at play practice so I was just wandering around the soccer field. William Kidd caught a huge bee in a jar and was carrying it around. He decided I should "guard" it for him. I picked up a huge tumbleweed and walked around holding the bee. KaCee came near it so I hit him with the tumbleweed. " That'll teach him" I thought to myself. All the sudden I was on the ground. KaCee decided to trip me after I hit him. When I got up I looked to see if the bee was still there. All I saw was broken glass and a bunch of blood falling to the ground. I began to get light-headed when Mrs. Smuin rushed over. She placed her glove over my eye and started walking me to the office. When I got there, they called my mom. Mr. Mackay carried me to my car and I went to Dr. Zundle. He stitched me up and I went home. I got ten stitches that day. Eight above my eye and two on the side of my head. Oh, I did find out who broke my charm. Andew was throwing it around and it fell on the counter and broke. That was probably the worst day of my life. After a couple of days I got another puppy and she still lives today. :)

.Chapter One.

While walking along the beach, my dog ran rollickingly ahead of me. I stayed behind staring intently at the ground. Then all of a sudden, something emerged from the unlit dock. My dog started frantically barking. That’s when I heard the earsplitting scream.
* * * * * *
My life could not be any more boring than it already is. I go to school, eat, and sleep. No on really understands me. No matter how hard I try, I always fail miserably. The only thing I’m good at is poetry. It lets me express myself. I don’t have to impress anyone when I write. I try to talk to people, but they don’t listen. The only good conversations I have are with my trusty old mutt Toby. I really think he understands me.
It’s the first day of my high school career. My first class is freshman English. I walked in just as the bell rang. The teacher got up to give us the first of the year speech.
“ Welcome everyone to the freshman English class!” Mr. Jacobs said enthusiastically. “Please take your seats and say here when I call out your name.”
He started through the list. I felt like I was going to fall asleep. I didn’t realize we had so many in this class. Suddenly his voice stopped.
“Kris? Kris Taylor?” Mr. Jacobs said looking around irritably.
“Here,” I said, blushing with embarrassment.
Mr. Jacobs moved on down the list until we were all marked down. Then he did something I really hate.
“Now since you are freshman, I don’t know much about you. I would like you all to stand up one at a time and tell anything about you.”
How could he do this to me? That was the one thing I did not want to do! We aren’t in first grade! I guess it could be worse though. I was not the first nor the last person to go so maybe I could get courage and do it. People stood up one at a time telling pointless little facts
about themselves that would soon be forgotten right after they were told. To my despair, it was my turn. The teacher beckoned me to stand up, so I did.
“ I really like to write and read poetry.”
“ Oh that’s very interesting Kris,” Mr. Jacobs added smiling. “Would you like to share some poetry with us?”
“Yeah right,” I thought to myself. “ Like I would want to tell them my poetry even though I didn’t even want to stand up. Like that was going to happen...”
“Umm, no that’s ok, it’s not that good.”
“Oh I’m sure it is,” Mr. Jacobs said and nodded for the next person to stand up. The rest of the class stood up and told us very interesting facts (not) about themselves. There were two people I remember out of the whole class. The first one was named Jason. I remember him because for one, he did not look like a freshman at all. I’m guessing he was about six’ five” or so. Secondly, his interesting fact was that he liked to shoot guns. This intrigued me because he didn’t say what he liked to shoot. For all I know it could be people!
The other person I remembered was Landon Davis.